How do you spot a real man?

Real men play the flute. Forget what you think about shirtless guitar-playing rockstars or sweaty drummers banging a bunch of plastic and metal with some wooden sticks. You know what else comes in plastic, metal, and wooden varieties? Dildos.

It takes a real man to play the flute because we as people of 2010 are conditioned to believe that you need to be burly, rough, fat, and play electric guitar to be a man (acoustic guitar is for hippies). But being a man isn't about doing what society tells you. You know who is in society? Women. What self-respecting man is going to do what a woman tells him?

I can guarantee no woman ever told a man to go practice his flute. Thus, practicing and playing the flute is exactly what a real man should do.

This is Man's true purpose

If you think back to all the famous men who played flutes the most popular is probably the Pied Piper. This was a man who played the flute to lure children out of the town where he dismembered them and spread their body parts out across the forest. Funny story, I was going to suggest the Pied Piper killed children and then I looked him up and it looks like in some stories he actually did kill children. He's even manlier than I had originally thought.